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Saturday, June 27, 2015

New Age networking: 3 strategies more effective than asking someone to coffee

IMAGE: KEVIN KOZICKI/CORBIS

SARA MCCORD for The Muse

1 day ago

Before those who read this title think I've abandoned everything I stand for: Don't worry, I still love coffee. I am the stereotypical remote worker who seeks refuge from writer's block in a coffee shop. I drink nearly as much as Lorelai Gilmore, and whenever I want to catch up with a friend I suggest we meet for coffee.

However, I'll admit that this isn't always an effective networking strategy. As the writer Deborah Copaken Kogan includes on her contact page "but please refrain from asking her to…go on a coffee date…it's hard enough to find an hour to have coffee with a friend."

Therein lies the problem in asking networking contacts to meet for coffee: There's a good chance they'll respond that they're "too pressed for time." And, it's no doubt true. (Seriously, look no further than here, here, and here). So, if you're hoping to connect with someone new or particularly busy, try moving your requests online. You'll get the same results (new connections!) without all those the back-and-forth "when and where" emails.

1. Use Twitter to share your work

As the resident Twitter evangelist on The Daily Muse team Lily Herman writes, "...Twitter is one of the best networking tools (if not the best) out there...Without exerting too much energy, you can put a plan in place and start to see your networking connections — and professional opportunities — rack up."

Herman goes on to explain how you can

use hashtags, questions, and your current network to foster connections over Twitter.

use hashtags, questions, and your current network to foster connections over Twitter. The idea here is that while someone may be hard-pressed to find 30 minutes (or more!) to meet for coffee, he or she probably has time to tweet you back. And, if you tweet with someone more regularly — and she's responding — you'll start to build a relationship. Once someone follows you, you can then DM him or her to continue the conversation over email.

Need proof this approach works? Just last week, someone tweeted me that he scored a 100% on the Grammar Quiz I shared. He then asked if that was worth me reviewing his infographic. I was impressed — with the score and the tweet — and asked him to DM me a link to it. If he'd asked me for coffee to discuss the possibility of collaborating, I would've said no — but this 10-second request was easy to say yes to.

2. Use LinkedIn to share your resume

Some people just aren't into Twitter, so no matter how strategically you tweet at them, they won't respond because they rarely log in. Next stop: LinkedIn.

Before you say, "Duh, everyone's resume is on LinkedIn," remember that there's a difference between a person clicking on your page just to see if you share a past employer or alma mater, and someone actually reading your professional history.

I still remember when Muse career expert Lily Zhang reached out to me over LinkedIn. Not only did she send me a personal note, but as soon as I accepted her request, she went to my profile and endorsed me for some of the skills she had mentioned in the message. This demonstrated to me that she really had read my articles, and naturally, I immediately went to her profile to endorse the skills I knew she had. And while I was there, I read her profile.

This method could work for anyone, and it's a much more strategic — and likely — way to get a contact to view your summary and resume than asking to meet for coffee so that you may discuss your career aspirations.

3. Use Instagram to be in touch

One of the secrets to really connecting over social media is to figure out your contact's preferred platform.

One of the secrets to really connecting over social media is to figure out your contact's preferred platform. While you may think that Instagram is just for personal photos, people now use it in all sorts of ways. From sharing industry-related quotes to using it as another profile to share their work, many people do utilize it for professional purposes — making it a great way to reach them.

As with Twitter, just following someone isn't enough to build a connection. You'll want to interact with the person you'd like to be in touch with. Of course, there are a few things to keep in mind. I shy away from requesting private Instagram profiles unless it's someone I already know. (Because if someone's account is private, odds are this is not a platform he uses to network with new people.)

Also, it's important not to act like you know someone you've never met. Sure if someone posts a photo of a beautiful place or of themselves all dressed up or of a cute child, it's pretty standard for followers to like and comment accordingly. But if you tell a stranger that you notice her husband always poses on her right side or that she has worn her hair the same way to every fancy event lately (a.k.a., things only a BFF or her aunt would say), you're crossing over into creepy territory.

Instead, comment on professional posts — pictures of the office, of that person traveling for work, or of events he or she has attended. A comment that you "also loved the keynote at [ABC event] especially when she mentioned [this cool thing]" is a much better way to go than the comment above. While an influencer might not have time to meet with you for coffee to discuss a recent speaking engagement, through Instagram, you can get on her radar.

You still can ask to meet people for coffee (I know I do). But if you find that you're having troublegetting a "yes" to your networking request, try one of the strategies above. Then, buy yourself that cup of coffee for victory's sake when you hear back from someone you've been dying to connect with.

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9 LGBT influencers sound off on their biggest queer pet peeves

IMAGE: VICKY LETA/ MASHABLE

BY KATIE DUPERE18 HOURS AGO

Pride Month is a time to celebrate the triumphs of the LGBT community, including the fact thatsame-sex marriage is finally legal in the U.S.

Celebrating progress is needed in any social movement — after all, what’s activism without appreciating the successes of your struggle? But celebration can’t overshadow the work that still needs to be done.

SEE ALSO: LGBT families and allies share their hopes for the future

There are many frustrating, everyday misunderstandings or misconceptions around gender and sexuality that, for LGBT people, indicate the number of remaining barriers to true equality.

To highlight where we need to go from here, we asked nine LGBT influencers to tell us their biggest "queer pet peeves."

Kristin Russo, cofounder of Everyone Is Gay

"One of my biggest queer pet peeves is how artists, musicians or others in the public eye are automatically labeled with their sexuality or gender identity first, and their talent or profession second. Saying things like, ‘lesbian singer-songwriter,’ ‘bisexual soccer star’ or ‘transgender CEO’ is often out of context, unnecessary and damaging."

Andrea Gibson, spoken word poet and activist

"What comes to mind is being hassled by my straight friends because so many of my best friends are my ex-girlfriends. They don't get it, and I remember being insecure about it for a long time until my therapist told me she thinks it's one of the most beautiful things about the queer community. So many of us have lost so much family that when we find our chosen family, we aren't willing to let go.”

Davey Wavey, YouTube personality

“I think my biggest pet peeve is when straight women tell me it's such a waste that I'm gay. A waste is reheated french fries, not that I'm attracted to other men.”

Jose Antonio Vargas, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and founder ofDefine American

“My pet peeve is the term ‘coming out.’ I find it an inaccurate way to describe such a personal experience — being honest about who you are isn't about something external. To put it another way, it's a matter of prism: It's only ‘out’ to you [the person someone’s coming out to]. This is my life; I live it. We only ‘come out,’ so to speak, to let people in.”

Cameron Esposito, comedian

"My biggest queer pet peeve is the idea that kids would need to be protected from knowing that queer people exist. We are not a corrupting influence; we are parents and teachers and siblings and friends. Also, queer adults were once queer kids. Little queer kids exist and they deserve to know there are other people out there just like them, all grown-up and living their positive possible future."

Andrew Morrison-Gurza, disability awareness advocate and founder ofDeliciously Disabled

“As a queer person with a disability, my biggest pet peeve is a lack of accessibility in queer spaces. There are so many places where queer people go to be themselves and express their sexuality that I, in my 300-pound wheelchair (or, as I refer to it, my sex toy on wheels), do not have access to. And then, if I do manage to find a club that is accessible, I have to overcome the attitudinal barriers of people not seeing me as sexually viable. They don’t really consider me an option. They think I’m invisible, and they don’t see all the delectable flavors within disability."

Dannielle Owens-Reid, cofounder of Everyone Is Gay and creator ofLesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber

“My biggest *~Queer Pet Peeve~* is definitely people within the community disrespecting someone else's identity. Ignorant phrases like ‘bi now, gay later’ are detrimental to the community at large. You're not only discounting someone's experience and contributing to a negative dialogue, but you're letting everyone around know that you are not a person with which they can be totally open.”

Rea Carey, executive director of the LGBTQ Task Force

"The misperception that all LGBTQ people are wealthy, white and live in cities.”

Reise Bernard, cofounder and CEO of Autostraddle.com

“When straight people attempt to demonstrate how down they are with LGBTQ folks by doing the following:

1. Responding to you saying that you are [any identity besides ‘straight’] with something like, ‘Who needs labels anyhow, right?’ or, ‘Isn't all sexuality fluid, really?’ Yes, it's absolutely true that many LGBTQ folks are sexually fluid or dislike labels — but not all of them. Many LGBTQ people have non-fluid sexual orientations and labels they really like. Being down with sexual fluidity or label-free identities doesn't crown you more evolved or ‘with it.’ It just makes you a person who is aware of sexual fluidity and label-free identities.

2. Responding to a celebrity coming out with something like, ‘Who cares? Why does it matter?’ Um, we care and it matters to us! It's so disrespectful of how difficult coming out and living openly can be for so many LGBTQ people, and how desperately we need visibility and role models.”

It may take more than just female managers to close the gender wage gap

IMAGE: STUDIO ZOO/IMAGEZOO/CORBIS

BY REBECCA RUIZ3 DAYS AGO

Women help women. At least that is what happens in the ideal workplace, particularly as women rise to management positions and use their power and influence to promote female employees whose careers and earnings may have been stifled by gender discrimination.

Research shows that women in the United States make 78 cents for every dollar a man earns, partly as a result of bias. Experts have watched women climb the managerial ranks and noticed a subsequent decline in the wage gap between female and male employees. The two trends, they have argued, appear related.

SEE ALSO: Women still make less than men, and it costs them billions every year

A forthcoming study in the American Journal of Sociology, however, suggests female managers don't necessarily aid their female employees. In some cases, women might fare worse under female managers.

The study, co-authored by U.C. Berkeley Haas School of Business Assistant Professor Sameer B. Srivastava, looked at the employment records of 1,701 employees at an unnamed information services company. Their records included salary and performance evaluations.

The female employees earned $56,920 on average compared to $72,295 for men. When the researchers controlled for factors like experience and age, they found that women made 17% less than men.

After analyzing performance reviews and salary data between 2005 and 2009, they discovered that there was no statistically significant advantage for women when they switched from a male to a female manager. A smaller subset of lower-performing female employees actually made 30% less than their male peers, when assigned to a higher-performing female boss.

The findings are not necessarily surprising. Researchers have long debated whether or not female managers are “agents of change” or “cogs in the machine.”

When women are agents of change, they are eager to make the workplace less hostile to their female subordinates, and reward their hard work with pay equity.

When women are agents of change, they are eager to make the workplace less hostile to their female subordinates, and reward their hard work with pay equity. But when female managers are “cogs” they have no effect on the wage gap, and may even exacerbate it. In this scenario, women may believe that men are more competent than women, whether they realize it or not.

All of this is complicated by women's relationships to their female co-workers, which are often influenced by what is known as “competitive threat” and “collective threat.” A low-performing female manager might treat an employee harshly or less fairly if she’s being outperformed by her –- hence the threat by competition.

On the other hand, a low-performing female employee might make her superior look bad, and her boss is already worried about being perceived as less competent than her male peers. As a result, she deems that employee as less valuable, and likely underserving of a raise or promotion.

Srivastava told Mashable that it’s not clear if the high-performing female managers in his study treated the lower-performing women differently because of collective threat, though it is a strong possibility.

While the study, which focused on a single company, can’t be generalized to all female managers, Srivastava said that the findings suggest businesses must do more than just appoint more women to leadership positions.

“It’s probably wishful thinking that that, by itself, will close the gender wage gap,” he said.

"It's one thing to have more women in management and another to have an organizational culture that promotes gender equality."

"It's one thing to have more women in management and another to have an organizational culture that promotes gender equality."

Catherine Hill, vice president of research for the American Association of University Women, a nonprofit organization that promotes gender equality, said that she wasn't surprised by Srivastava's findings. Previous research has shown that both men and women believe stereotypes about gender, often unconsciously.

Hill said that female managers should honestly assess their opinions on gender in the workplace, and maybe even take animplicit bias test to learn if they have biased attitudes about women's competency. (Men, of course, can take the test too.) They should also use objective measures to evaluate employees, particularly when looking at the contributions of a female charge who seems to be contributing less than her co-workers.

These situations deserve special attention, Hill said, because supervisors frequently rely on their gut reaction when making a decision about a less-than-impressive employee. The only problem is that those instincts may actually be shaped by bias. "Use evidence whenever possible," she said.

Closing the pay gap has become a popular issue. It was the subject of Patricia Arquette's Oscarspeech, Hillary Clinton has mentioned it on the campaign trail, and even the Pope has called for fair pay.

Now the challenge is translating that support into real change at the most basic level: the relationship between a manager and her employee.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

It may take more than just female managers to close the gender wage gap

IMAGE: STUDIO ZOO/IMAGEZOO/CORBIS

BY REBECCA RUIZ1 DAY AGO

SEE ALSO: Women still make less than men, and it costs them billions every year

A forthcoming study in the American Journal of Sociology, however, suggests female managers don't necessarily aid their female employees. In some cases, women might fare worse under female managers.

The female employees earned $56,920 on average compared to $72,295 for men. When the researchers controlled for factors like experience and age, they found that women made 17% less than men.

The findings are not necessarily surprising. Researchers have long debated whether or not female managers are “agents of change” or “cogs in the machine.”

When women are agents of change, they are eager to make the workplace less hostile to their female subordinates, and reward their hard work with pay equity.

“It’s probably wishful thinking that that, by itself, will close the gender wage gap,” he said.

"It's one thing to have more women in management and another to have an organizational culture that promotes gender equality."

"It's one thing to have more women in management and another to have an organizational culture that promotes gender equality."

Now the challenge is translating that support into real change at the most basic level: the relationship between a manager and her employee.

Have something to add to this story? Share it in the comments.

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

6 ways LGBT patients can get the most out of their health care

IMAGE: JETTA PRODUCTIONS/BLEND IMAGES/CORBIS

BY KATIE DUPERE1 DAY AGO

Visiting the doctor can be a high-anxiety experience for any patient, but those who identify asLGBT are especially prone to discomfort.

Standard interactions with medical professionals often revolve around the assumption that a patient is straight, causing distress for members of the LGBT community during even the most routine checkups.

SEE ALSO: 10 meaningful ways you can celebrate LGBT Pride Month

There's also the fear of gender-based discrimination that transgender people face when visiting a health professional. Medical records can "out" trans people when name and pronoun changes aren't accounted for in bookkeeping. But even willingly coming out to a doctor exposes trans patients to the possibility of being both medically misunderstood and a victim of violence.

The anticipation of encountering an intolerant doctor is enough to make LGBT patients want to cancel all of their checkups. And a lot of them do.

While 17% of straight individuals report delays in seeking medical care, 29% of LGBT individualssay they put off their doctor visits. Yet LGBT people are more likely to need care addressing emotional health, suicide ideation, substance abuse, HIV/AIDS care and cancer treatments.

While the Affordable Care Act provided some protections for LGBT individuals seeking medical care, there are still no national laws banning discrimination on the basis of gender identity and sexual orientation. A number of states have instituted non-discrimination laws on their own, which mostly protect patients on the basis of sexual orientation, and some clinics have anti-discrimination clauses in their practice policies. But the lack of nationwide protection is still a very real issue LGBT people face.

Navigating a health care system that is not designed with your needs in mind is daunting, and educating your doctor on your identity can be frustrating. But Barbara Warren, Psy.D., the director of LGBT Programs and Policies for the Mount Sinai Health System in New York, says confronting uninformed medical professionals is necessary in our current health care climate.

“My belief is that the onus should be on the health system and not on the patient," Warren tellsMashable. "But the reality right now is that we are not quite there yet in terms of LGBT issues. Hopefully we can empower patients to say who they are and ask for what they need.”

To get the most out of your health care, and to receive the most complete care possible, read this guide to being a more empowered LGBT patient.

1. Do your research.

Don't feel compelled to go to the same health care provider your family has gone to for generations if it isn't the safest space for you. Researching your options — even if they seem insignificant — will help you pick the best provider for your needs.

“I always tell people, 'Be a shopper,'” Warren says. “Before you go there, check it out.”

Shop around for a clinic that’s sensitive and inclusive, and promotes it. If the clinic’s LGBT patient values aren’t apparent on its website, dig deeper with a preliminary phone call. A clinic you want in charge of your health will answer any and all questions you have about its policies and practice.

The best place for you may be a clinic that’s farther away than the office down the street, but it's worth the travel for competent care.

2. Know what issues may arise, and think about the best ways to address them.

If you are a member of the LGBT community, you probably have a mental list of uncomfortable moments that always arise at the doctor's office. Maybe that includes questions about sex that assume you're with someone of the opposite sex, or assumptions about your gender identity that aren't quite on-point with how you identify.

Whatever the case, instead of just brushing these moments off as inevitably uncomfortable, think of how you would address them before stepping into the doctor's office. For example, your doctor is always going to ask some form of, “Are you sexually active?” It’s standard on intake forms and some need-to-know medical information. But, if your medical provider assumes you're straight, he may not consider what your answer implies about your sexual health and potential health risks.

In that situation, it’s best to clarify what he is trying to ask. Does he want to know if you have had sex within the past six months with a person with a penis? Is he wondering if you could be pregnant? Or maybe you’ll want to just offer straightforward information about your identity by saying, “I currently have one sexual partner and she’s a woman.”

Make a list of questions you may encounter, and have a plan for addressing them.

3. No matter how you do it, bring up your identity.

While coming out is always a personal decision, it's important to weigh that personal choice with the necessity of health care tailored to your complete self. Warren believes it’s essential to be open with your identity to receive the most relevant, competent care.

“That is my personal opinion. That is my strategic opinion. That is also my social justice opinion,” Warren says.

In some cases, it might be helpful to request a preliminary chat with your doctor to address your identity. However you bring up your sexuality or gender, do so honestly and openly. If you need some support, bring someone with you who can serve as an advocate in possibly tough moments.

Coming out is the only way to receive care tailored to your specific needs as someone of a marginalized gender or sexuality — and it's also the only way to know if your health care provider will be an unwavering supporter of you as a patient.

4. Call out problematic moments.

If you are in the middle of an appointment and even the smallest microaggression occurs, call it out — if you're comfortable to do so. Feel empowered to challenge your provider's missteps. Ultimately, challenging their assumptions, language and biases will help them provide you and others with more inclusive care.

Warren says this is more than warranted, and sometimes absolutely necessary for people of marginalized genders and sexualities.

“It’s absolutely OK for you to say, ‘My preferred name is Jane, it’s also my legal name. My gender pronoun is 'she' and that’s what you need to be calling me,’” Warren says.

If your provider isn’t complying with your requests or has a harsh reaction, consider filing a formal complaint against the practitioner and the clinic. Warren recommends knowing the proper channels to file a complaint before you even step into a doctor's office.

5. Take control of your own health care.

Taking ownership of your health is the best thing you can do for your well-being. Warren recommends having a relationship with your doctor in which you are open to share your needs and questions without judgment.

“[It’s] OK to go to your provider and ask questions and make certain demands,” she says. “We’ve sort of had this hierarchical system where the doctor's the expert — and they are usually white, male, cisgender and straight — and the patient's an idiot.”

Instead of prescribing to that hierarchy, challenge it. A doctor may be an expert in medicine, but you are the expert on yourself. Use your knowledge of your identity to discern what you need from your health care. Then, advocate for those needs.

6. Practice self care.

Navigating even the most standard doctor visit with a queered sexuality or gender expression can be frustrating, difficult and draining. During the process, it’s important to keep track of your own well-being to ensure you're not only getting the best treatment possible, but also taking care of yourself.

If you're in a situation with your doctor that feels dangerous, uncomfortable or out-of-line, call off the appointment — even if it’s in the middle of a physical while you’re wearing an ill-fitting medical gown.

Always feel empowered to end a consultation if your needs are not being adequately addressed, especially if you are being disrespected. When it comes to your health, your needs should come before everything else.